Three years. Three years since I started this project. Looking back it doesn’t feel like three years. It feels a lot less than three years.
I’ve probably said it before but I’ll say it again, that if I combine all the hours I have actually worked on this project it really only amounts to a couple of days. This is really quite frustrating and it would be wonderful to be able to practice more of the technical techniques.
But in the real world, bills have to be paid and errands have to be run in my spare time. To find the money or the time to dedicate on the extra studio time would mean having to sacrifice something else.
The risk of giving more up to spend in the studio would mean not being able to do other things. Things that I would miss doing. It would be no good resenting this project because of the sacrifices being made. Striking a balance is not easy and there have been times when I don’t think I’m working hard enough on this. That maybe true but my enthusiasm is still high after three years and it would be a shame to spoil that.
Over the last few months it is getting clearer in my mind with what I want to say with this project. When I look back on the early days I could not really say what I wanted from a shoot. It is much easier now that I’m getting into my stride.
What is even more interesting is looking back at some of the material that influenced me at the start of all this. I find myself disagreeing with a lot of the suggestions in the early research I uncovered and rejecting a lot of the ideas.
Finding a different path from my early “teachers” just goes to show how far I have travelled. Question is, am I any closer to my final destination? I would say there is still a long way to go. A very long way to go.